This Years Iron Man Competition Winner is...

...And next up is oldguy. Says here he started training for the Iron Man as a young boy by running from and evading truant officers. By all accounts oldguy took up swimming after accidently jumping into the deep end of the pool and was forced to learn to swim or drown. This is oldguy's first competition but is by far the favorite. His bicycling accomplishments include riding for three and a half miles before ditching the bike and hitch hiking the rest of the way from Waycross to Valdosta GA just to get some. What a horny bastard he must have been. Wait where is oldguy headed? He seems to be spending a lot of time at the beer stand. I think he's just thirsty. Here he comes. Wait oldguy has a keg bungied to his back. Surely he's not going to attempt the race with...Blah Blah Blah