shooters

Girl fight

2009-08-16T08:37:00.001-07:00

Nothing quite like a good

My place looks like a dumpster (not that it's a bad thing!)

2009-04-27T22:40:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I wonder why I put up with this mess. Cleaning utilities are a waste.

Apparently the damn vaccum and the mop. They seem to be never used and that damn mop still has the wrapper on it.

Gonna kick em all out and clean this place up.

I must be pretty useless too or I'd have cleaned this place up already.

I Ride an Angry Bull

2009-04-23T02:49:00.001-07:00

I only ride the finest and fastest transportation, with the finest leather upholstery. Has to have big horns and able to turn on a dime.

smD20869a

Since they took my license away for being a detriment on the freeways. I have taken to riding animals

Hints for when to say your good byes to the host early.

2009-04-19T05:51:00.001-07:00

Beer cans and other debris like ashtrays are flying about
I'm pretty sure that personal injury and or incarceration will ensue.

men in blue uniform wearing guns want to join the party.
I'm pretty sure that personal injury and or incarceration will ensue.

The land lord or owners of the hosts party house want to join the party.
I'm pretty sure that personal injury and or incarceration will ensue.

The intoxicating beverages/substances run out
I'm pretty sure that property damage and incarceration will ensue.

You start to see double.
I'm pretty sure that personal injury including property damage followed by incarceration will ensue.

Someone falls through the glass top coffee table or thows up on the cat.
Property damage has already occurred. Besides it's a lame party. Bolt.

In Defense of My Vices

2009-04-16T22:46:00.001-07:00

Ode to my favorite vices. Beer, Cigarettes, and Sex

Beer & cigarettes

Cigarettes and Beer

Cigarettes and Beer

I yell it so loud that

Everyone can hear

Give me a cigarette

and a big swig of beer

and I'll dance you a jig

Now give me sex, cigarettes, and beer!

To the bee,that bit the bull

and got the bull to bucking

and here's to Eve who bit the apple

and got the whole world fucking

Then she smoked a cigarette!

Oh, for three more hours

2009-04-16T22:26:00.001-07:00

Let us see now.That's 180 minutes. Umm, 10800 seconds. Oh, dammitalltohell.... Snooze bar rules!

A Haiku about The Sting

2009-04-10T01:12:00.001-07:00

Old Old movie I ran across in my collection. Had to see it one more time.

Scott Joplin's score is great too!

Twists and Turns abound

The cast and script are classic

In the end you're fooled

I'm in the anonymity Hall of Fame

2009-04-10T01:00:00.001-07:00

Ever since I was a young boy I've craved the low lifestyle!

basque_substation_of_the_internet_2007_8

I am famous for absolutely nothing and that's the way it's going to stay. Hopefully. I have been striving my entire life to remain invisible and have somewhat succeded so why start screwing things up now. I did invent the internet though. Oh, No Wait that was Al Gore's dumb ass.I prefer anonymity to fame.

Don't Just Recycle, Reuse.

2009-04-08T23:58:00.001-07:00

Going green can save you a helluva lot of cash!

I buy items with compact packaging to reduce garbage. I hate making trips to the dumpster. I also have less groceries to carry. Reusing plastic bottles and finding creative ways to reuse things that would normally be thrown away can save from having to buy many household items and you don't make extra trips to the hardware . Have to be honest though. Most of these things I do is to conserve funds. I can live off of thirty dollars a week, excluding rent. I learned to live this way when I lived outdoors in Tampa back in the late seventies. You aren't homeless if it's by choice. Live like you live outdoors and claim to be a Green freak!

One word Responses Pose Danger

2009-04-05T22:29:00.001-07:00

Nothing
"Nothing" is the response you get from your wife to the question, "What's wrong?" or "Is something bothering you?". Be very careful my friend. Danger and mayhem will strike you. Not right now, maybe, but when you least expect it! Leave the home immediately and head for the florist and confectioner. These presents and I'm sorry will surely weaken the wrath that will eventually be thrown upon you for whatever wrong you committed.

Okay
"okay" is a response to a comment or decision you have made.Do NOT mistake this for approval! On the contrary "Okay" usually means your judgment on the decision is in total disagreement with your spouse or lovers
ideas.Your comment is objectionable! A common response might be "Oh I'm sorry, guess I wasn't thinking right. What do you think?" depending on the mood this may work. My response is leave the home post haste! Something else may be bugging her and you should not try to find out.
Come back later with alcohol on your breath and a renewed confidence.
The wrath you will incur will be great but she may forget about the trivial offense you committed earlier. Either way Good Luck!

This Years Iron Man Competition Winner is...

2009-04-05T05:11:00.001-07:00

...And next up is oldguy. Says here he started training for the Iron Man as a young boy by running from and evading truant officers. By all accounts oldguy took up swimming after accidently jumping into the deep end of the pool and was forced to learn to swim or drown. This is oldguy's first competition but is by far the favorite. His bicycling accomplishments include riding for three and a half miles before ditching the bike and hitch hiking the rest of the way from Waycross to Valdosta GA just to get some. What a horny bastard he must have been. Wait where is oldguy headed? He seems to be spending a lot of time at the beer stand. I think he's just thirsty. Here he comes. Wait oldguy has a keg bungied to his back. Surely he's not going to attempt the race with...Blah Blah Blah

Kim's dad's garden shed

2009-04-05T03:56:00.001-07:00

I had just turned eleven and still had never really kissed a girl, then I met Kim!

I had just turned 11 and Kim was 10.We had spent most of the summer goofing together. She found one of her fathers Penthouse magazines and wanted to experiment. We hid in her dad's garden shed and got naked together. Oh my God our first kiss made warm from my stomach on down. I never thought something would feel so good! We practiced kissing and imitating other things described in the Forums section for the rest of the summer. She moved to Kentucky that fall and that winter my family moved to
South Carolina. We talked on the phone and wrote each other for a while, but eventually lost track.So we never really had intercourse but she ruined me because my expectations were so damn high after that. Oh hell I just want to know what the hell she's doing now. Some how I don't really want to know. Hell I knew I shouldn't have written this!Now I'm all sad and shit dammit!

News Print MediaTrying to Scam Federal Government!

2009-04-03T13:17:00.001-07:00

The printed news media claims to be dying and in search of a government bailout. What if they just go away suddenly! Oh well.

My newspaper has it's own website as does most television news media. The only problem I have is I won't be able to clip "Zippy the Pinhead" and pin it on my bulletin board. And what will we use for bird cage lining and packaging material. Oh hell this could be really big.

April Fools Prank Vexes Mayor!

2009-04-02T05:29:00.001-07:00

In Bangor Florida today police were Called out to the mayors house when it was reported that his electric car was stuck between two trees. A local fraternity was questioned in the incident and one frat member was quoted as saying "But Larry said it would be funny!"
No one was arrested in the incident, but the fraternity had to remove the mayors car and was fined $257 for the prank.
The mayor was quoted as saying "Those little bastards are going on double secret probation. Son of a bitch!!!

Stuck in an elevator with A Nymphomaniac

2009-04-02T04:48:00.001-07:00

A Nymphomaniac
There is no explanation needed as to why I am stuck in an elevator with a perpetually horny young woman. aka "Stuck in an Elevator" by Aerosmth. Going Down! Down! Down!

Rodney damn Dangerfield
This guy is freakin' hillarious and so what if He's dead, I bet he's even funnier since yuckin' it up with Janice Joplin and God.

Michael and Fiona from Burn Notice
Hey! Michael can get out of any situation and can damn sure get us out of this damn stuck elevator! Fiona, well she's just plain hot! Besides after all that skanky sex and busting a gut with a dead comedian I'm ready to get the hell out of here!

The I'm Stranded Year Long One Type Cuisine Menu.

2009-03-30T23:17:00.001-07:00

Today we're playing a little game kinda like Survivor. I'm stranded somewhere and have been given the choice of one type of cuisine to eat for an entire year! Be careful of your decision. You have to eat this all year long and nothing else.

Delfina Italian Restaurant Mockup

If I could eat only one type of cuisine for a whole year, let's go with Italian,because of the variety.Minestrone, one of my favorite soups, lasagna, ziti, and ravioli pastas. Riso dishes from northern Italy, Cacciucco. Monti (from Sardinia), Chianti (from Tuscany)...great wines, Anisette (these little cookies). Oh, yeah,veal osso buco, Bisteca alla fiorentina, pasta fazool, jota, fettucini alfredo, I hope this counts because it's an american dish,pannele from sicily and frozen and delivery pizza.This is a staple and is not negotiable, Are we hungry yet? If this can't last me a year, then let me starve. I didn't mention the ocean varieties or cheeses. Um, Hell I may have to go on a diet after a year of this!

Slutty or Sexy...are your parents watching?

2009-03-30T02:14:00.001-07:00

So, what is the difference between sexy and slutty?

It's sexy when you think it's hot. It's slutty when your mom thinks its too hot.
It's sexy when it reveals a part of your body that you find appealing.
It's slutty when your mom makes you change because it's too revealing.
It's sexy if you get paid for wearing it.
It's slutty if you wear it to attract customers.
Sexy is an attitude...Slutty is an act.
Sexy is a confident state of mind.
slutty is pretending to be sexy.
It's sexy in downtown Manhattan.
It's slutty at the church picnic.
It's slutty on the first date.
It's sexy on the fourth date.
It's sexy when you're naked.
It's slutty when you're nekkid
For those of you who don't know,naked is when you don't have any clothes on. Nekkid is when you don't have any clothes on and you're up to something! Slutty can be just as much fun as sexy! So lets all get slutty and sexy just one more time now!

Bambi,s Revenge

2009-03-28T13:47:00.001-07:00

As a boy, I was always filled with nervous energy, awaiting the day that Open Season for hunting would begin.The mending of guile suits, weapons and ammo preperation, and the sighting in of scopes, was a ritual for every boy my age. Then, finally the wait ends and a nervous trepidation takes over. Hunting down the evil menace.

Camo donned and locked and loaded, The search for the doe eyed big eared threat to mankind, "Beast Bambi" Begins with open season.
The woods are filled with bounty hunters, all seeking the $2,500 reward and the notoriety of becoming the hero who rids the woodlands of this dreaded beast.
Trekking gently and quietly, I here a rustling to my back and whirl to see... Oh My God ...It's It's Bambi's Dad!!! HELP!!!

Permanent Vacation in Phonix, AZ

2009-03-26T14:21:00.007-07:00

I first came to Phoenix in the mid '90's on vacation. I had so much fun I got a job and never left! Still here and lovin' it.

The City has so much to do you can live here and go on vacation here too. Several man made lakes are in the Urban fishing Program, and a few are large enough to allow boats.
Don't like fishing or picnicking ? Several full size malls and exclusive shops for you shoppers. Try the Camelback Corridor for a Rodeo Drive type experience.
Google Phoenix and discover several other sister cities in the Metro area. This is a very special place for seniors too. I sure do enjoy it and I'm not a senior. May go rafting this weekend or go swimming.It's year round! Come and enjoy!

'Up in Smoke !' A bad choice on my parents TV

2009-03-09T05:02:00.003-07:00

When I was growing up in the seventies, drugs were a regular event among my friends. We smoked almost every day. My parents were very strict on the subject and were in denial about smokage of dubage on my part. Well until Up in Smoke!

I was sprawled on the sofa giggling at Up in Smoke! on video when my parents came through the door. Drugs and the use of such was taboo in my household and now my parents were staring at me watching a guy on TV smoking a bomber made with a quarter pound of weed and I can't find the remote and am too wasted to get off the couch in time to turn it off. I hurt my folks but was kind of relieved that I was caught. Of course I was punished and promised never to touch drugs again. Whew! Got the video out of the garbage.

Trenton,N.J. made me homesick err just plain sick!

2009-03-09T03:59:00.002-07:00

Trenton N.J. the place where I grew up as a boy always had a special meaning for me. I learned to play baseball there.I attended my first years of school there too. The perfect place for a boy to grow up.

Trenton, New Jersey made me homesick! That's where I grew up. Wanted to go back and see old friends and haunts. What a nasty damn place. No offense to anyone from Trenton, but that is not the same place I remember growing up in. They say you can't go home but I say if you do you'll be sorry.
Especially if your home was Trenton! I never want to go back there again.

What do I do ?

2009-03-09T03:26:00.002-07:00

You see I am unemployed and am awaiting a disability hearing. I lost my leg because of arterial disease.Generally I am learning to create web sites and work in The Gimp and Blender. Good thing is I sleep and wake when I want. Bad thing is it doesn't pay. Hard to meet new people this way too. Not to mention my old job and friends. Well I could become a blog writer, huh !

About My Header Photo

2009-03-04T02:28:00.002-07:00

This was the first place I stayed when I moved to Phoenix. The post card is from October 1961 I believe. The Rainbow Motel is on Grand Avenue near Thomas and at the time was run by a fashionable lady named Claudia. I remember that I stayed in unit #1. The inside reminde me of Art Deco out of Miami. Not so much is left of the Rainbow anymore ...too bad soo sad... I enjoyed my stay there and met some very exceptional folks. Take Care oldguy85308

No Butt Obama

2009-03-04T02:11:00.004-07:00

Well I didn't vote for President Obama, but I am hoping that He is succesfull and makes a difference and can leave a proud legacy to our government,but this real estate stimulus is getting a bit annoying.Get rich leaches are crawling out of the woodwork to take advantage of in trouble home owners in greater numbers than the ones who conned the same into buying houses that they couldn't afford....And what is this return to an assault weapons ban? The law was poorly written the first time around! Come on President Obama make the citizens of America proud and let's not become a butt... okay? Good luck to you and your staff!...oldguy85308

Paul Harvey's Dead and I'm Jealous

2009-03-03T02:30:00.004-07:00

Been pretty damn warm here in Phoenix, and my effin A/C ain't working again. Hell I can't complain 'cause most the East coast is in snow! teehee...Thats alright I have a healthy I don't care attitude that God has given me by giving me Shit most my life. So thank you God 'cause now i don't really expect anything worth a damn, it's all the same ...good or bad just another thing. Well I'm through whining, just that I'd say bye to Paul Harvey you lucky dead soul you.

Tc anyone who reads this...oldguy85308

Shooter Dale

2008-08-17T03:44:00.003-07:00

I met Dale when I was doing a remodel on Indian School at an apartment complex. He was a new hire , and I thought maybe I could help him out. This was an observation which proved false. Dale proved to be one of the most capable persons in the regards of maintenance and remodel that I know of. After some time we became aware of a similiar interest we shared... Shooting!
Well, Dale shot a .410 shell off of the top of a tin can from about 45 ft using a .36 cal Navy revolver. Note! cap and ball with black powder. I was impressed greatly! This was our first outing of many more shooting expeditions. Over the years we shot .22 rifles ,.45 colts, .44 cap and balls,and allmost any and all calibers I would think of except the .44 mag.This is the only caliber/revoler that we haven't collaberated on. The Dirty Harry! The reason for this is not because of not wanting ,but ... Dale became ill before myself and moved to have care. We still talk and such but now that I am also ill, there is not much chance that we will be entertaining one another with such shots of skill and focus. I am not so amazed by our combined prowess as that we seemed to impress so many people that became enthralled by our impromptu exhibitions. well... Oh by the way the .44 mag is impressive trick pistol! Ihope one day I will impresse Dale and others with some new tricks with it...Later Dale! See you in the funny papers!...continued?

Whats a work ethic anyway

2008-07-28T04:51:00.006-07:00

So, I wheeled my chair down the block to the grocery where I intended on purchasing a bottle. Once there I spotted a young gangley looking kid of about late teens stocking shelves a couple aisles down the way. This made me feel how lucky I was to have gotten this type of menial labor past and done at such an early age as I had.

I remembered about a time when I was ten years old and had wanted a portable cassette

recorder to tape music from my small AM/FM radio to listen to my own music when I wanted. I convinced the produce manager of the local A&P in Trenton NJ where I was growing up at that time, to let me help him out for whatever wage He thought I had earned. I was to place some canned goods and packages on shelves and into bins and then carry the empty boxes out back and flatten them before disposing of them. Before finishing breaking down the boxes, the old man came out back gave me two dollars, a mighty windfall at the time, and said when I was finished I should beat it on home. I suppose he didn't suspect that I would return next day to pester him more.

Two weeks into summer vacation I was all over that damn A&P picking up three dollars here, fifty cents there, and a dollar or two over there. I continued my time that summer working at the A&P and soon was also working at the 7 11 for change. The lazy clerk there paid me only half or three quarter dollar for what I imagined to be half his damn job.

I told my pal about my grand idea for taping music to sell, and with help from another neighborhood friend who owned a small portable cassette recorder, we proceeded to implement my plan to select and record various songs from different stations, then edit, copy, and then sell the tapes around the block. The tinny sound from the little AM/FM when played back through the recorder was such a horrible and sometimes unintelligible noise that our dreams of riches and local fame were promptly stomped out. I decided to hide my fortune in earnings from the A&P inside the lining of my jacket. I think this is the first time I have disclosed this information.

At the time I hadn't realized how lucky I was to in fact be defining a work ethic that would last me a life. I did reconsider buying a bottle and instead concentrate on finding a means of sustenance or at least to come up with a plan of sorts. And so that was that.

48 and blank to go

2008-07-27T03:32:00.002-07:00

So I turned 48 yesterday and this particular past year is not one to celebrate. I feel more as if I don't want to even remember it.Tell you what, trying earning a living with one leg is starting to get a little disconcerting , at least a little. For some reason at this middle to later stage of life I am convinced that I can retrain myself to continue to somewhat impact my surroundings and others at least a little bit positively.
The Social Security Administration and RSA concerns showed me just how useless they can be. The latter insisting that in my present condition they needed to see a medical release in order to retrain me to return to work. The former, however, insists that I am not disabled and should return to work as soon as possible.
Perhaps I just need to let this sink in or filter through or whatever process will take place in time. Have to not think about this for just now. Perhaps some vodka will incapacitate me for a small time. I shall now repair to that and try not to remember the past year.